The Best Laid Plans
So the British press has been penetrating various Royal residences and writing stories to make security look foolish and incompetent. This has been going on for an extended time.
Well, the security people decided they would do something at Prince Charles's Scottish retreat on the Balmoral Estate to stop this once and for all: they installed highly sensitive seismic detectors all over the place.
Great idea, except the highly ecologically sensitive Prince decided to use Indian runner ducks
to control yard pests and keep the grass down.
When the ducks [Arabella, Antoine, Parsley, Sage, Rose, Mary and Thyme] go dashing about the yard they set off the alarm system
[Edit: Runner ducks look like some one has stretched a regular duck or crossed a duck with a penguin.]